One day, I was talking with a friend as I was driving across a bridge, and I mentioned that it was King Tides! She asked, “What are King Tides?” Here was something I was so familiar with and that was very common to me and the locals, yet she had never heard of it.

If you have lived near the ocean or tidal water for any length of time, you may know the term King Tide. A king tide is a non-scientific term used to describe the highest predicted high tides of the year at a coastal location. They are naturally occurring, highly predictable, cyclical events that happen several times throughout the year. During these events, the water can be two to three feet higher than the usual high tide.

King Tides are beautiful because you see so much water, but they can also cause flooding. They can bring stronger currents, powerful surf, and a higher risk of rip currents. The water moves faster and with more force. King Tides can also temporarily bring water onto roads and walkways.

This got me thinking about how we often find that a group, or even a vocation, has specific verbiage, lingo, or uses of words that only those within the group typically understand. I began to think about the word king, then King of Kings, and how, when Jesus was born, some people thought He was going to be an earthly king. Some were even threatened by this. They knew only one meaning for the word king, but soon many came to understand those words differently.

How many of us have encountered words or sayings that, at first, we didn’t understand or only had a limited understanding of? Then, before long, we hear ourselves saying those same words with a new meaning, often because we have experienced them differently. The experience gave the words a new or additional meaning.

Well, this is how my mind works. This took me to another word—a word I have seen so often misunderstood and misused. That word is forgiveness.

To some people, saying they forgive is like saying whatever happened was okay or no big deal. That is not what forgiveness is! Offenses and hurts are not okay, and some are a very big deal! Forgiveness, in and of itself, is saying something happened that should not have. Something hurt me, either emotionally or physically. It was not okay, but the grace given to me, I give to you. You give yourself permission not to carry the emotions and the continual pain. The relationship may or may not be restored, but your own peace has a chance to live again.

When and where did you learn about forgiveness? How was it modeled for you? Was it real or fake?

Often, when we are young, we are told to say we forgive someone without really understanding the meaning, especially what true forgiveness really is. You might think, “Wow, I was treated wrongly, and that’s okay? I have to say it is okay? Or I get in double trouble...?” So, you would say the words, but with hurt or confusion on your face and in your voice. There was no sincerity, but you said the words, and everyone seemed to move on. But something was “taught or caught” each time.

I saw this a few times with my grandchildren. What they would actually say instead of “I forgive you” was, “It’s alright.” That hurt my heart, and I quickly and gently spoke up and said, “No, it is not alright that they hit you—or lied about you, stole your cookie, took your toy, etc. You forgive them so you don’t stay mad or hurt. Tell them it bothered you and not to do it again.” I didn’t want them growing up with a false understanding of forgiveness.

I can honestly say I was born a forgiver, so maybe it feels easier to me. I also learned about forgiveness through Bible studies and reading the Bible on my own. I have definitely had times of struggle with betrayal and hurt...beyond; but God. God and His Word are true, and the Truth sets us free! I knew I had to forgive—to set others free and to keep myself free. I wanted to keep truth and love in my heart and be able to receive the love of, and from, God.

My prayer for you today is that you will not be held down, held back, or overcome with sadness, bitterness, anger, or whatever other emotions unforgiveness brings. I pray that you would acknowledge, grieve, and then move into the freedom to release others—or even yourself. I pray that, as you do this, you are released into the life you were created for.